For your viewing pleasure:
An Australian Water Dragon sunning himself on the rocks next to a small pool in Sydney’s Botanic Gardens.
A Kookaburra watching us eat brunch.
A bunch of palm fruits which was about the size of my head.
And an eminently sensible way of reproducing.
Australia’s wildlife rocks.
…is a competition held annually here in Sydney for portrait paintings. Thousands enter from all over Australia every year and a minority are chosen to feature in a public exhibition in the Gallery of New South Wales - which is where I went to see them last night with 2 friends from work.
Some - maybe half a dozen - were excellent. Well-executed, thoughtfully composed, and meaningful: they revealed something about the sitter as well as about the artist. Quite apart from what they reveal about the viewer, of course…
Some were well-executed - some were even technically brilliant - but still completely forgettable. Although one had been voted ‘best in show’ by the back-office staff of the gallery… predictably, since stupid people judge paintings by how like a photograph they are… and yes, they deserve to be called stupid. That IS stupid. Its not a matter of subjective taste, its raw idiocy.
The rest of the paintings failed to make up in vision what they lacked in technical ability.
And there were a lot of paintings covered in deliberate drips. Drippage seemed to be a major theme - no doubt in order to make some profound and topical point about the Dire State of the World and how oppressed/repressed we all are or some such banal drivel. Art doesn’t need a Message. That’s what politics and talk shows are for.
Still, some were really wonderful. And its fun to be an art nazi.
Azahar asked me for the ‘before’ and ‘after’ photos of me from the dating site, so here they are. No pointing and laughing please.
I chose this one originally because I like blue and because I was happy when it was taken. I was camping in the aptly named Kangaroo Valley with friends and there was nutella on toast for breakfast.
However, this one has proved to elicit a better response. Even though I took it myself the other morning before leaving for work and consequently look rather self-conscious and uncomfortable.
Still, at least I’m not posing on my yacht, right? Ahem.
So, the promised update on The Dating Situation.
And no, before you get all over-excited, I’m not actually dating anyone as yet.
However, the lovely Ombudsben recently reminded me that I should give the online thing another quiet prod on the very same day that another male friend of mine pointed out - kindly - that the photo I had been using of myself wasn’t doing me any favours.
So, I changed the photos - to ones which I don’t think are any more fair a reflection of what I look like (I am constantly and consistently surprised by my reflection in mirrors), but I suppose I have at least brushed my hair and I’m not in the middle of a three day camping trip when they were taken, so presumably they have to be an improvement…
The point of all of which is to introduce you to two of the men who have contacted me since I changed my photo.
Both of whom are over 6′3″ tall (I’m 5′10″ so tall is good, let me tell you - ain’t nothing a more guaranteed passion killer than feeling like a galumphing great heffalump in the presence of your beloved), both can spell and hold a decent conversation, like diving, are over 40 and have a yacht. Each.
What do you think? I mean, is it just me, or is it a little odd that both guys are so similar?
This is the kind of maths I like.
And this is my kind of Geography:
On Monday, I will post an update on the Dating Situation. Yes, it deserves Capital Letters. Its Important.
Australia has the best, most helpful road signs ever.
I mean, this is EXACTLY the information you need, right? ”You are going the wrong way”. And the most useful advice. “Go back”.
Easier said than done in most cases, I grant you, but still.
I need signs like that for the rest of my life.
I’ve been bitten. By a spider, apparently.
I don’t remember ever having been bitten by a spider before but I’m told its almost an initiation rite for new immigrants to Oz.
My skin overreacts to pretty much everything, but it is going into mottled red and burny hyperdrive over this bite.
Ow.
I went to my first ever Aussie Rules (or AFL) match on Sunday. I had almost no clue what was going on but I will share what little I did manage to pick up:
1. The pitch is round. That took me a good 10 minutes.
2. The Sydney Swans are, in fact, nothing to do with the Sydney Rabbities. Who, as it turns out, are actually the South Sydney Rabbitohs. And who play a totally different game in a completely separate league. Ah. Just testing.
3. If you’re a Port Adelaide supporter (either because your friend is from there and you want to give her moral support at this away game, or because you really hate red and couldn’t possibly wear it) then you will not get your head kicked in, even if you sit and cheer in the middle of a stand full of Sydney Swans supporters.
4. AFL players are gorgeous. I want one.
May there be cake, and presents, and loving words, and big hugs, and touching reminders of just how much you are valued by all people of sense and taste!
Txxxx
Was I wetter on the inside or outside? Good question.
